Wednesday, January 11, 2017
Acquisitions Incorporated: The Holiday Special
I had no internet for a few days, so I almost missed this completely. There is a new Acquisitions Inc episode that is about 3 and a half hours long on amazon at this very moment.
It’s $5, but you can watch it free with amazon prime. You can sign up for prime for free for 30 days, so if you have any interest in this show at all you should check it out!
You can watch this on amazon right here.
You can watch it on vimeo here.
This episode follows up on the epic show from a few months back. In this session, the group plays through the beginning of Storm King’s Thunder. They go to the village of Nightstone.
I’ll just give you a broad overview, I don’t want to spoil the whole thing. This is a very good show and I don’t want to ruin the jokes.
(Jerry) Omin Dran - Half-Elf Cleric
(Mike) Jim Darkmagic - Human Wizard
(Scott) Binwin Bronzebottom - Dwarf Fighter/Barbarian
(Patrick) Viari - Human Rogue
Viari has an evil arm. He's a bit worried about the arm and whether he will be able to use it to play the flute or use it for other personal things.
The group has the apocalypse dagger and the nightstone.
Viari knows that the nightstone came from the town of Nightstone. We learn that this is where Viari grew up.
The heroes take the airship to the town. It's apparently abandoned. Viari is quite alarmed. From what they gather, giants attacked the town and he villagers fled and hid to a locale nearby.
Viari's Home: The group realizes that Viari has a connection with the town of Nightstone and starts to try to question him, but he isn’t forthcoming.
The church bells are ringing. Viari races in. There are two goblins swinging on the bell rope. Viari gives them a brutal thrashing.
There is much goblin abuse. The group has been hilarious from minute one. This show is really laid back and the jokes just fly constantly. It is extremely easy to watch.
Viari admits that he came from this place and that his parents live here. He thinks that they probably fled to a keep nearby.
They head to this place, once run by the Argonezzers. Chris says that they made beer and that they really liked sex a lot. The heroes do a lot of careful exploring. They are baffled that nobody is around and wonder where they fled to.
A giant spider jumps the group. Omin almost immediately rolls a critical and destroys it, doing 30 points. The group rolls natural 20's like crazy in this session.
The Evil Dwarf: More exploring leads to the discovery of a silent dwarf guarded by a shield guardian encrusted with gems.
The dwarf has a German accent. He tells the group that the villagers have been put to work in the mines in exchange for letting them stay.. The group offers him riches.
His name is Orlok. The guy calls his golem "Max" and talks to it. Orlok is not an Argonezzer. He says that those people left once the booze business went bad. Orlok has a very sinister voice.
A fight breaks out. The gems on the golem absorb spells. Viari summons his owlbear.
After quite a bit of back and forth, the group defeats the shield guardian. The heroes demand that Orlok tell them what they want to know. Orlok agrees to show them where the villagers are.
Jim Is Cruel to Germans: Orlok’s crystal chair floats. Jim asks him if he can walk. Orlok says that he can walk but that it is hard. Jim casts dispel magic on his chair and the dwarf crashes to the ground. Orlok struggles to his feet.
Orlok tells the group that there is a monster down there in the mines. As they get deeper in, they find a few bodies. They see one with a bite mark in the middle of her back.
After studying the wound and another natural 20, Jim realizes that the monster is a cloaker.
We learn that Viari's real name is Timothy "Goodboy" Dunstucker. He's a little embarrassed about it.
There are a billion good jokes throughout this section. The players are on fire tonight.
Viari has a brother, Jack, who apparently is the golden child. Viari, not so much. Jack isn't here.
The group goes to find the cloaker. They fight it, it tries to flee. Binwin kills it by chucking a handaxe into it.
Jim is down to 2 hit points.
The villagers are saved. The group debates what to do with Orlok, who basically engineered this whole thing.
Prognosis Negative: They learn that an elf shot Orlok in the head 40 years ago, and the an arrowhead is still lodged in his head.
The group is thinking that because this is the Christmas special, there is probably some 'redemptive payload.'
The group befriends a blind cook, who stumbled onto the combat with the shield guardian. It turns out she is a member of the Argonezzer clan.
They pull out the arrowhead. It turns out that it was an arrow of dwarf slaying. It seems like Orlok's personality has changed, and that the arrowhead altered his personality. Jim chucks the dwarf slayer at Binwin, just to freak him out.
They find a goblin that they let go... it's eating the dead goblin, his friend. It’s a festivus miracle.
Orlok rewards the group with 5,000 gp. Omin tells him to use it on Nightstone and to get the Argonezzer family back in town.
These guys have a real good thing going. This show is extremely enjoyable. There are no major developments, but we learn more about Viari and the players are hilarious.
If you have any interest at all, definitely check it out!
They should do one of these every year. I'd like it if they put it out before Christmas, maybe even Thanksgiving. It would have been fun to watch this during a relaxing holiday.