The more I thought about it, though, I realized that a D&D movie isn't as interesting as a D&D TV show could be. I don't mean a cartoon. I loved the 80's cartoon, but what I am talking about is a massive dramatic series full of action and effects. An HBO kind of show.
|Draw attention to my farts at your peril, Shadow Demon|
The Characters: We should go with a mix of iconic selections and different choices just to keep things from being too dull. I'd like to see a party of 3 males and 3 females, something like that. I'm hesitant to pick races like tieflings and dragonborn, as those would be difficult to pull off on a live TV show without looking like crap. I did not like the way that dwarves and hobbits looked in the Peter Jackson Lord of the Rings/Hobbit movies. I just didn't buy that they were small - it didn't look right in many scenes. If there is a dwarf in this show, I think it should be Peter Dinklage real life-style. In fact, now that I think about it, I'd like the dwarf to be female. I don't think we get to see too many female dwarves out there. The gruff male dwarf is such a dull stereotype.
|Yes those hobbits are clearly not CGI'd in there, no sir|
Female Dwarf Fighter - She is a badass with an axe and shield
Male Elf Cleric - Our walking exposition dispenser. He knows about everything and he's aloof. Someone will need to die a shocking death in the first few seasons and this is the guy! We can have one of Lolth's shapeshifting handmaidens, a yochlol, strike him down in an epic twist of some sort. This will also build tension for the eventual showdown with Lolth.
Female Half-Elf Wizard - Booksmart lady who will start the show out as really weak with her one spell, but by the end she's firing off fireballs and lightning bolts every round.
Female Half-Elf Rogue - She's our token hottie. We can give her a troubled past and a bad attitude and, of course, tight leather armor
Male Human Bard - He's our other token hottie. He's quite the ladies man and his shirt is always open.
Male Human Fighter - Kick-butt Russel Crowe kind of guy
|Hat hair strikes again|
Did you know that the 3rd edition staff hated Regdar, and tried to depict him getting killed in the artwork as often as possible?
Monte Cook explained it here:
"Regdar intruded his way into 3E, empowered by marketing and sales people. At the last minute, in a matter of just those few short weeks, the old TSR standard reared its ugly head. Not only was Regdar on the scene, he was in the spotlight. This was the character that would be on the cardboard standees and other promotional items, and would usually take center stage in the covers. I was caught entirely off-guard and was far too late to even comment on him. Now, to his credit, the initial Regdar artist, Todd Lockwood, made Regdar's ethnicity kind of vague. (Regdar had shown up in Todd's earlier
|It's German for "The Regdar, The."|
I am thinking that the show's main villain could be Lolth. She's one of the most iconic NPCs in D&D, and dark elves are very popular. She's very versatile - she can be a hot chick in a spider web bathing suit and she can also be a hideous spider-thing with a lady head. Throughout the series she can have her little plots, sending her minions to mess with our heroes.
I would like to see Greyhawk as the setting. The series could be based on many of the great adventures hat so many D&D players are familiar with.
|I would LOVE to see a mind flayer on TV|
This is a great locale because it is THE dungeon, and yet it has never actually been published in its' true form. That gives the show lots of creative leeway. They can focus on establishing the characters and their relationships, and they can roll out all the classic dungeon tropes that we want to see like spiked pits, the "chained-up woman who is actually a succubus" and hey, maybe a dragon on a pile of treasure.
I would also assume that certain D&D monsters would be very expensive to depict. A goblin would be quite difficult, IMO. An orc, since it is man-sized, less so. With castle greyhawk, you could just use orcs and nobody will care because you have a lot of freedom.
Season 2: White Plume Mountain
I'm not sure if you can get a whole season out of this. I think you can if you expand on it, specifically the sword Blackrazor (which is a juicy storyline for a PC), the undead dragon Dragotha off in the distance, and the whole idea that the heroes are supposed to hand over the 3 artifacts to the guy who hired them. Has any PC ever handed these things over? I doubt it.
Season 3: Temple of Elemental Evil
The temple could almost be a whole series on its' own. There's tons of room for drama with the four elemental temple factions. I would cut out the village of Hommlet (I'm not a fan) but keep the scumbag village of Nulb.
|Coolest dude ever|
A hero should probably die in this one. Wow, I would love to see this in a TV show. Each excursion back in would be so intense.
Season 5: Against the Giants/Drow stuff
Not sure if giants would be too expensive? But if the series has gone on this long, it'd be a success so maybe this would be doable.
Season 6: Queen of the Demonweb Pits
The drow Series is capped off in the demonweb pits with the battle against Lolth on her spidership. The Demonweb has portals to all those other worlds, each with their own story. You could definitely get a season out of that.
As far as who the actors should be, you'd probably have to go with no-names along with one or two notable actors. I don't watch a lot of TV so something tells me you the reader could think of a number of actors who would fit this show nicely.
|Now we got us a TV show!|
So there you go, we have mulled over something that will probably never happen. But it should! And I don't think there has ever been a time when the public would be more receptive to it than right now.
Please do not exit the blog until it has come to a complete stop. See you next time, my trusty chum.